Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Single Parenting

    Ah yes, I have been meaning to write a post about this for awhile but have been putting it off and putting it off. Partially because I don't know where to begin and partially because it reveals that I am not super human (there I admitted it!).
    It all started in July when my husband left for work in Regina. You see he chases hail..not literally..but pretty close. He fixes the cars that the hail wrecks and makes them brand new "looking" again. Regina+ Hail= Reuben working in Regina. So the adjustment began of single parenting for weeks on end. For some of you that know me I am a pretty independent person, so the idea of my husband being gone did not phase me all that much! (although I do miss him incredibly!) However...the difference being that I would not be alone doing my own thing, lalalala. I would have a little boy wanting my constant attention and I being the only one to DO IT ALL. No more breaks in the evening when daddy gets home, no more breaks on the weekend when daddy is off. Me. And. Child. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I love my child to the moon and back but even a perfect child would cause some friction eventually! My boy is busy, my boy needs structure or he gets bored and cranky fast, my boy needs attention and hugs and kisses. Learning to single parent has been one of the greatest challenges of my life so far. Partly because I am not as super human as I once thought I was. It is tiring and mentally/emotionally draining. (there I admitted that as well! Mother of the year award goes to...)
    Through it all though God as revealed himself over and over and over again. He has given me strength. He has given me perseverance. He has given me patience when I think I have not even a drop left. I call on Him because at the end of the day that is all I can do. That is the only way I can do it. And I go to sleep and I wake up and I call on Him again to help me through the next day...and I open the door and greet the cutest face saying "hi mommy" and I feel God hug me through those little arms that wrap around my neck. And that is how I do it day after day and week after week.

      I also find support in my sister who as well single parents even longer intervals that I do..going months without her husband home. It has brought us closer that even motherhood alone did. Having someone who understands the emotions and the trials makes it even more bearable and I thank God that I have her!
     So for you out there that single parent all the time, one or two nights a week, a few weeks or a few months at a time. You are not alone. You can do it. You do have the strength inside of you because God is your strength. And when you realize that you can make it through. I am not perfect..I have yelled at my child, I have cried tears of frustration but I have also apologized to my two year old for my actions. Having humility is not easy either...but my child needs to know that he is loved by the one person that is there. (and also that his mother really is not a raving lunatic!)
       Lessons I have learned:
-the mall is a great place to let off steam and your childs energy..and of course the money your husband is away making (j/k babe I only window shop!)
-it is OK to ask for help
-a great way to shower when your mischeavous toddler is awake is to strap him in his booster seat, and play episodes of elmo on you tube in the bathroom.
-it is ok to not clean that house when your toddler is sleeping cause this is really the only time you will get to put your feet up till bedtime.
-which brings me to the point that it is ok to let your house fall apart when your husband is gone cause a toddler really could care less how it looks..and he is helping it fall apart!
-skype is an amazing invention cause toddlers dont know how to talk on the phone.
-yoga pants are an amazing and comfortable clothing article..everyday..till your husband gets home (oops.he wasn't suppose to know that)
-coffee (need I say more?)
-my weightloss strategy has been to eat like a toddler..simple meals..
-hug your toddler more and more..he misses daddy too!

watching dorge (curious george) with his furry companion