A few minutes of happiness

Happiness is two cute little boys that r going to get into a lot of trouble when they r older!

Happiness is grooving to your favorite tune and wearing a bucket on your head!

To feed or not to feed?

Well i have about 10 minutes to write this before Lucas wakes up from his nap and before i have to finish the second part of supper! Food has been on my brain lately..and not just the idea of eating it..although that is always on my mind! :) Ever since Lucas was born and started eating solids i've been more conscience of what i feed him and in turn what we feed ourselves. I'd like to think that I do fairly good considering our income at the moment and the time I have to actually prepare a decent meal when one little monkey isn't screaming at me for his attention. I have stopped using a lot of things that otherwise were a staple previously and have switched to whole wheat versions, brown rice, less sugar, more veggies/fruit, etc. When i was working full time, before i had Lucas, i would try to take lunches to work as much as possible but sometimes there just wasn't any leftovers to take and would eat out..which happened to be approx once to twice a week. As well ,in the evenings, if it was a late night and Reuben was working late, dinner was usually picked up on the go! Its understandable how people that live in the city and work crazy jobs/hours eat out all the time! Our health slightly suffered but we still tried to eat the best that we could! Those days seem long gone and eating out now is a luxury..one that i wish happened more often...but one that we cant afford or really do with a child and his schedule! So homecooking it is! I dont mind cooking..its just thinking of what to make that kills me! And cooking was a whole lot easier when all i had to listen too was my own thoughts or on occasion some music. I like to think that i am feeding my family the best that i can and the healthiest that i can achieve. It seems more and more people are eating organic now days, trying various health diets, cutting out anything with preservatives or unnatural products. For a lot of people health problems lead to these diets and because of that they need to cut out certain things. My mom is one of them, she no longer eats gleuten and her health has improved because of that! Before i had Lucas i was the same way but than i got pregnant and i was able to eat bread till the cows came home without any ill side effects! mmmm mmm..i love me my bread! A lot of it i realize now was due to stress and not being able to eat for  6-7 hours when i was working!! Not good for ones digestion i tell ya! So i have nothing against people that eat this way or change their diet. Its hard not to feel the pressure though that unless one cuts out certain things we are eating unhealthy and not giving our family the best chance that we can! I once read a book called "skinny bitch" that basically tried all the scare tatics in the world to convince you that you should eat vegetarian. Is that the healthy alternative for me and my family? No..i dont think so..not for us anyway. For awhile though everytime i bought meat i felt guilty that i would even consider but knew that we needed it and that my husband would shoot me if i didnt! ----pause----

yeah i totally did not finish in 10 minutes so i get to finish now amongst a living room still messy with toys and supper dishes beckoning to be washed!!  But hey, my child is asleep and i made it to the gym for at least 45 minutes! (and now my tummy hurts from exercising after i ate!) So continuing on...

I have read many articles exposing the truth behind many foods, some that i might eat and some of them i already know that i shouldn't. There is truth behind them for sure..and studies (for some of them) to back them up, but where do you draw the line? We simply cannot afford to shop purley organic (and honestly sometimes i compare organic to non organic and there is more nutrition in the non-organic item..sometimes..not all..) and i do not have the energy nor the time to compare and research all the food that we ingest. I simply cannot remember all the "names" of the supposed non-natural or toxic ingredients in foods because now days there seems to be many..and of course they are all scientific sounding. So i apologize if you see me standing in COOP with a befuzzled look on my face as i try to dechipher all the ingredients in a can of tomatoes. I can remember obvious ones to avoid that really are potentially life threatening. For example you will not find things like Splenda, or anything sweetened with sucralose or aspartane in my house. So i have decided that i need to stop reading articles and stop taking them too much to heart..cause they are stressing me out and making me hate food shopping and cooking for that matter. I dont want to think that everytime i am feeding Lucas i am killing him..when really i am doing the best that i can with the best knowledge i have. I can't live in fear that what i'm eating is giving me cancer, cause i have no control over that. Ask my mom (sorry to pick on u mom). My mom was what i like to call (when i was younger of course) a health nut! She was always avoiding certain foods, or clothing in hopes of preventing cancer or disease. Just over 6 years ago she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer..and i can remember her saying "all that worrying and stressing for what? i got it anyways!" She is fine now, thank goodness, but it taught me a valuable lesson that we dont have everything in control! But i know someone who does and i choose to put my trust in Him. I could spend my days worrying about certain ingredients and research and than the next day be struck by a car and killed. (sorry if thats harsh!) I dont plan on being stupid with food or my life..but i dont want to live my life freaking out about everything either. I want to enjoy my cinnamon buns from time to time, coffee (yum yum), and on days when i just dont have the time to make soup from scratch, to be able to pop open a can of campells soup and enjoy it guilt free. My child will be raised healthy. He will eat his vegetables and meat before he gets a cookie..if he gets a cookie. But i dont want to deprive him of the fond memories i have of eating sugary goodness with my dad or grandma! (sorry mom..you just weren't into the sugar! haha!) So until my health doesnt let me eat my bread anymore or some other sort of food, I will enjoy them in moderation! I'm not ready to part with my honey nut cheerios just yet! :(

Speaking of food

Lucas' favorite snack, fruit and cottage cheese...yay for messy!

love him!

mental sanity?

I dont know why but this week has felt like a really long week! It could be because i didnt have any appointments to do any hair, so my so called "time away" didnt happen this week! And its not that i've been holed up in my house all that much this week either..although one afternoon in my house with a whining toddler can feel like a lifetime! (currently to keep him quiet while i finally get around to doing my blog..he is eating/playing in cottage cheese, and not the kind that spews out of a child's stomach...the kind that comes in a bucket!) I was able to do a few things this week, i even managed to get my hair done (yay!) while Lucas sat actually rather good in his stroller. He proceeded to terrorize the shop while i had it cut though and i almost left him there as a child worker to do the sweeping..he was rather fond of that broom! We took dinner to our friends house who just had their second baby and Lucas thought that tiny little eyeballs and noses were meant for poking! (sorry Zachery..you can get him back when your older!) I had coffee with two of my close friends for about an hour. (sometimes i wonder is they get tired of my verbal diarhea..i cant help myself, i talk to a 1 year old all day!) We went to Balzac mall  to buy a gift for my neice Amiyah and being the nice mom that i am let him run up and down the halls! Oh how i love that mall during the weekday mornings! He tried to charm every lady walking by him with his cute little waves and shy little "hi"s, and than proceeded to scowl at me and whine when i once again prevented him from running into the adjacent store and ripping every item he could see off the shelf! One lady even tried to convince him to go in the coach store and i shot her a look of "you dont know what you r asking for lady! I dont think i could afford any damages that he might render upon your rather expensive purses!!" Needless to say after the walk down the hallway mommy had had enough and stuck him in the child pit (play area!) with no way out! Stupid sign says that you cant take coffee in with you...who r these people that make these rules?? My one chance to sit and nurse my cold coffee cup while my child teetering on the plastic bug on the floor! Hey..those floors are padded and they are a whole lot softer than the ones at home...and did i mention that there is no way out unless i the parent decided its time to leave?? Its about as close as i can get to a padded walled room. Anyhoo..this morning we made it once again to mom's group! It is great to get together with other moms and drown our sorrows in Kareen's lovely baking and awesome coffee! All i need is a baby straight jacket and i might be able to sit down and drink the "whole" cup of coffee. Oh well...Lucas has fun, as do all the kids and if we are going to go crazy at home, we might as well go crazy together. right? And than tomorrow we head to Red Deer for my nephew Colby's bday and possibly to Three Hills after that for our neice Amiyah's bday. So why do i feel like i'm slowly going crazy?? I find this age that he is at is hard..its not that i dont love this age but it definately has its challenges. Hes not old enough to be verbal on what he wants and instead whines or cries when he cant do something or wants something...which is 85% of the time.  He is learning words though..and everything is"out", "cats", "hats", or "crash". He also says "all done" and "uh oh". He as well doesnt have the attention span to sit and play with something for very long..so my attempt at teaching him to color isnt going very far yet. It makes it hard to sit and play with him which he loves...but drives me crazy when all he wants to do is treat me like his personal climbing tower! And he hates when hes not getting attention..which is most kids i guess! I'm waiting for when his little imagination kicks in and he starts "play" playing with his toys and not just bashing them against the coffee table or my head for that matter! So part of me wants him to grow up and part of me is sad that he is no longer a baby but growing everyday! (ask my husband about my mini meltdown last night when he refused to nurse before bed!) Its the constant "pick me up mommy", "put me down mommy!" all day...24/7 that wears on my nerves. Its interesting how despite all that..we as "moms" get up everyday and deal with them everyday and  LOVE them everyday. This "job" is harder than any other one that i have ever done but also the most rewarding. The knowledge that i have to teach and instill in this little one the things that will one day make him a great  "man/worker/husband/father" is a little intimidating. And watching his mommy run around the house with psycho hair, ripped clothes and rocking back and forth on the couch is not going to help him get to that point. So for that i remain "sane" and calm the little voice inside me that ones to yell sometimes (sometimes that little voice wins..but hey..i'm not perfect!) and try to teach him in those bad moments hopefully something that will turn it one day into a good moment!! God will never give you more than you can handle! :) So there is my post...not sure where it headed and ended up but it made me feel a little more "sane". And for those of you that are a little concerned about my overall well being i will take up any offers of a "mommy needs a night/afternoon out!" :) And than you can check on the sanity of my husband Reuben at a later date! :)

sweet baby Zachery

Big Brother Kai

Timeout! Just kidding..if only! lol!

his favorite place to play in the kitchen..stove drawer!

"Mommy where r u?" Peeping through the cat door when i go downstairs to do laundry..he likes to throw all his toys through as well!

Keeping up or just rambling?

I was informed by my mother that i haven't blogged for awhile. Its not that i haven't wanted to. Its not that i dont have anything to write about. (cause there is always something to write about!) Its not that i dont really have to the time. Its probably more the lack of ambition than anything! I often ask myself why i lack ambition to do certain things. Its it because of peer laziness? Is it because i feel like my life bores people? I honestly dont know..maybe a combination of both.  The only time that i get to blog is when my child is asleep. It is a blissful time, so I often have to choose what I would like to achieve during these rather quiet moments. Really i can't say that i am lazy cause i feel like i spend my whole day with springs in my bottom, never sitting down for more than 5-10 minutes at a time! Jumping up to pull Lucas away from massacering the tree in the corner, or telling him "I dont thinking putting a box ontop of my hair case and climbing into it is a very safe idea" especially when they are teetering on top of each other, or removing him from his dump truck with wheels as he tiptoes at the side of the desk trying to reach mommy's really expensive camera! It scares me that someone so small can do so much damage sometimes and i hate to see a bigger version!! And yes i feel at times like my life lacks the interesting quality that other families seem to have. When hours in the house turn into days..doing the same repetitious things. Wake, eat, clean, play, eat, sleep, play, eat...and eat somemore (when you have a boy it seems that is all they do somedays!) Does it border on child abuse if my son eats off a crusty food tray?? (not that he ever does!) Cause i sure get tired of cleaning that sucker 50 million times a day! I am in the process of trying to domesticate him with plates, spoons and forks. Plates stay put for 50% of the time time, and well the fork and spoon are great chew toys and great to use as a catapult for food like items! My floor is being slowly redecorated with colors and swirls, soon we wont have to redo our floors, they will be redone for us! Needless to say i am constantly reminded to be greatful for my repetitious days,  colorful floors, cats missing hair and papers torn to bits for there are families out there whose days are consumed with medical devices, cleaning out trachs and g-tubes, checking and re-checking monitors, 1-2 hours a day of changing bandages, etc. I am grateful that my son is healthy with the energy to tear apart my house and lung capacity to scream at me when i am ignoring his incessant whining. These are all things i would miss dearly if my son was ever to be taken away. The Lord has a way of kicking me in the butt time and time again to remind me of these things. Telling me to set aside my own selfish thoughts and desires, reprimanding me when i feel like i have no patience left and i start yelling at my child. It is amazing how God can reveal himself through the innocence of a child. (although at times i swear there is a little evil grin when hes doing something that hes not suppose to be doing! j/k!) Nothing else has cause me to look deep inside myself and want to change more than being a parent! It brings out the worst and the best in a person! One day i will achieve the award for "Most Perfect Mother!" right..right?? Give me hope people! Until than i will wallow in the fact that i am not perfect, neither is my child but we are blessed and loved by the One who truly is!!!

climbing monkey

someone so small can make the biggest messes!

trying to swing from the vines

just love his 3.5 tooth grin!

he may look like he is sleeping but he is just pretending! Trying to look innocent!

3 seconds later flipped over and trying to run away!

wait..i see a camera!

come on mom!!! Seriously? You wont give it to me?

Fine, i'll pose instead! I'm so cute!

he thought it was hilarious that i was holding his hand!

snack time

there were cheerios everywhere!