Monday, February 7, 2011

Keeping up or just rambling?

I was informed by my mother that i haven't blogged for awhile. Its not that i haven't wanted to. Its not that i dont have anything to write about. (cause there is always something to write about!) Its not that i dont really have to the time. Its probably more the lack of ambition than anything! I often ask myself why i lack ambition to do certain things. Its it because of peer laziness? Is it because i feel like my life bores people? I honestly dont know..maybe a combination of both.  The only time that i get to blog is when my child is asleep. It is a blissful time, so I often have to choose what I would like to achieve during these rather quiet moments. Really i can't say that i am lazy cause i feel like i spend my whole day with springs in my bottom, never sitting down for more than 5-10 minutes at a time! Jumping up to pull Lucas away from massacering the tree in the corner, or telling him "I dont thinking putting a box ontop of my hair case and climbing into it is a very safe idea" especially when they are teetering on top of each other, or removing him from his dump truck with wheels as he tiptoes at the side of the desk trying to reach mommy's really expensive camera! It scares me that someone so small can do so much damage sometimes and i hate to see a bigger version!! And yes i feel at times like my life lacks the interesting quality that other families seem to have. When hours in the house turn into days..doing the same repetitious things. Wake, eat, clean, play, eat, sleep, play, eat...and eat somemore (when you have a boy it seems that is all they do somedays!) Does it border on child abuse if my son eats off a crusty food tray?? (not that he ever does!) Cause i sure get tired of cleaning that sucker 50 million times a day! I am in the process of trying to domesticate him with plates, spoons and forks. Plates stay put for 50% of the time time, and well the fork and spoon are great chew toys and great to use as a catapult for food like items! My floor is being slowly redecorated with colors and swirls, soon we wont have to redo our floors, they will be redone for us! Needless to say i am constantly reminded to be greatful for my repetitious days,  colorful floors, cats missing hair and papers torn to bits for there are families out there whose days are consumed with medical devices, cleaning out trachs and g-tubes, checking and re-checking monitors, 1-2 hours a day of changing bandages, etc. I am grateful that my son is healthy with the energy to tear apart my house and lung capacity to scream at me when i am ignoring his incessant whining. These are all things i would miss dearly if my son was ever to be taken away. The Lord has a way of kicking me in the butt time and time again to remind me of these things. Telling me to set aside my own selfish thoughts and desires, reprimanding me when i feel like i have no patience left and i start yelling at my child. It is amazing how God can reveal himself through the innocence of a child. (although at times i swear there is a little evil grin when hes doing something that hes not suppose to be doing! j/k!) Nothing else has cause me to look deep inside myself and want to change more than being a parent! It brings out the worst and the best in a person! One day i will achieve the award for "Most Perfect Mother!" right..right?? Give me hope people! Until than i will wallow in the fact that i am not perfect, neither is my child but we are blessed and loved by the One who truly is!!!
climbing monkey

someone so small can make the biggest messes!

trying to swing from the vines

just love his 3.5 tooth grin!

he may look like he is sleeping but he is just pretending! Trying to look innocent!

3 seconds later flipped over and trying to run away!
wait..i see a camera!

come on mom!!! Seriously? You wont give it to me?

Fine, i'll pose instead! I'm so cute!

he thought it was hilarious that i was holding his hand!

snack time

there were cheerios everywhere!

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